Farrah Fawcett, glamorous Hollywood actress and 1970s icon, was diagnosed with anal cancer in 2006. News reports are that she is now confronting death. Her struggle with this deadly disease will be shown on an NBC documentary, Farrah’s Story, this Friday night at 9:00 pm. The documentary was filmed over two years with Farrrah’s own video camera, with her friend Alana Stewart as the videographer. Read about it and see photos and and a video below.
I feel very much the interloper in attempting to write about Farrah and her personal nightmare. Well, not really personal … she did not have that luxury, but it’s the nightmare from hell none the less.
She and I are the same age. My hair was identical to hers back in the day of big hair, blue eyeshadow and real lips … untouched by collagen. While never a fan of hers, I was a big fan of Lee Majors and Ryan O’Neal, so whenever Farrah made news, I was always nosy enough to read about it. I gained respect for Farrah as an actress after she starred in the TV movie ‘The Burning Bed’, and she outdid herself in ‘Extremities’.
I’ve never been a celebrity follower. I don’t comprehend their lifestyles or thought processes, and frankly, there’s not enough room in my brain to be concerned or even really care about them. It’s only when there is an ‘in your face’ story that I occasionally sit up and pay attention. But why?
I understand that when someone signs on to be an entertainer that they automatically give up a lot of privacy that we, the fans, insist we keep for ourselves. I also think that the public, the fans … have crossed the line. We do not need to know every detail of a celebrity’s life …. for example Farrah’s cancer. The HIPAA laws were written for her, too. But did we care? Nope. Not one damn bit.
Ms. Fawcett pleaded for privacy, yet the National Enquirer allegedly paid Lawanda Jackson ( an administration assistant at UCLA Medical Center ) $4600.00 to dig up personal info on Ms. Fawcett and leak it to them. Ms. Jackson was charged with violating HIPAA laws and admitted guilt, but died of cancer last March before being sentenced. And the National Enquirer made a lot of money off of Farrah Fawcett’s hell.
It’s been alleged that Ms.Fawcett has spoken to the U.S. Attorney and the FBI regarding an investigation to see if the parent company of the National Enquirer, violated any laws by paying an employee of a hospital to leak out any patient confidential medical information. I really hope she has.
When Farrah was diagnosed with cancer in 2006, it hit a raw nerve with me. Cancer runs in my family; my Mother died from it at 52, it killed her sisters and my Aunts, at a young age also. I held 2 husbands in my arms as they took their last breath after fighting this very hard, very personal demon known as cancer. I have lost 7 seven friends to cancer and only know 2 survivors personally. My best friend of close to 40 years had pancreatic cancer 8 years ago … against all odds, she is still here. Another friend has survived serious melanoma. My little brother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer last week. So, as you can tell, I am very familiar with this monster.
After all the experience I’ve had with being around and losing loved ones to cancer, I thought I would, and should be spared. After all, I had already survived one near fatal illness, and I’m a good person with a kind heart, blah, blah, so home free on the cancer crap, right? Nope. Almost a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer myself. Unlike Farrah, though, I have been allowed my privacy … and perhaps why I feel so strongly about this. For those of you that thrive on the tabloids and need to know every little thing, I am going to give you a glimpse of what it’s like. First let me say that I don’t know what Farrah has been through personally, but I do know what it’s like to have surgery, chemo and radiation. Ready?
Cancer is hell on earth. From the moment of diagnosis, your life is no longer your own. Your are assigned a team of specialists, each with their own area of expertise in your type of cancer. You have family and friends and co-workers and bosses to tell …. or NOT. Many patients prefer privacy to sharing the sordid details.
At my age, I found myself surrounded by Doogie Howser’s, MD. and all his minions. Nurses my grand-daughters age are still looking after me. This is extremely difficult because at this age, you’re fairly sure you know everything you ever wanted to know about anything, and we all know young people really haven’t lived and learned yet. It’s very hard to trust doctors younger than your children. There’s an awkward period of adjustment.
Your routine is established with no wiggle room. While many advancements have been made in chemotherapy, each person is treated differently. The better your health going in, the better your chance at minimal side effects … most of the time.
There is nothing glamorous about vomiting non stop, having all your long, thick hair falling out, losing your eyebrows, eyelashes. Sometimes your teeth become weak and break, your vision drastically impaired. My fingernails separated from the quick, became hard and brittle and I’m losing them. It’s very painful to touch anything … even to type. My hands and feet blistered so bad from the chemo that skin fell off in chunks, and I still cannot wear socks or shoes. My children suffered as I begged for death and pleaded for a knife to kill myself with. The pain was so bad I just wanted to cut it out of me. My daughter wept as I crawled upstairs, unable to stand, or walk from the weakness. My doctors have said they did not expect me to complete chemo. Does anyone feel better knowing Farrah may have gone through the same thing, or even worse? Does it matter that perhaps one minute she may have been teeth chattering cold, unable to feel warmth, and the next … drenched in stinking sweat … needing a complete change of bed clothes and bedding?
Our looks change. Our eyes become sunken in, cheekbones hollow. We scare little children with our appearance. What do you say to a 5 year old when they ask about your hair? If you say you’re sick and it fell out, then that child is left worrying every time they sneeze.
Most people, adults and children, tend to stare at those in wheelchairs. What are we supposed to say to make you more at ease? What is it that any of you need to hear from someone that is suddenly ‘different’ to make you more at ease …. and is that my job? Is it Farrah’s because she dared to become famous and she ‘owes us’?
Most people try to protect their privacy, and when someone you don’t want knowing your health business finds out, you have a tendency to want to rip off their arms and beat them over the head with them when they grab and hug you … wishing you well …. because you know for a fact they are hypocritical. I would imagine this to be specially true of people in Farrah Fawcetts’ position.
It’s one thing to be nosy about what someone is wearing, or who they are dating. It’s quite another to need to know the gruesome details of their personal suffering … and the process of dying …
Is it because the celebrities have so much, and we don’t, that makes us feel entitled to violate their personal space? What if the homeless wino on the street found out about you … and put your business out there for all to see, because after all, you have more than they?
I applaud Farrah’s decision to go ahead and make her ordeal public after being left with no choice, but I condemn the public at large for forcing this decision on her. There’s so much grief and anxiety for everyone touched by cancer … she should have been able to fight this major battle her way, not yours, or mine.
I hope none of you ever has to deal with losing someone to this disease, but if you do, and you’re one of those that liken the tabloids to the Bible, I hope then you will realize that depriving Farrah Fawcett of her right to dignity, to privacy, was very, very wrong.
Perhaps we should all re-aquaint ourselves with the word mercy, and then show it next time we want to invade someone’s life and death.
Farrah’s Story, the documentary dedicated to documenting Farrah Fawcett confronting death from anal cancer that has now spread to her live, will air on NBC Friday, May 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm.
